| My name is Melissa, Johnas |
[Mar. 19th, 2020|11:42 pm] |
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Its here, it is finally here. It is the writing space of my own, it is where I like to play with expressions, it is where I like things to be light. A universe that I want to be a lot funnier than the real one, away from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) meljohnas. I am photographing little scraps of time. Gaiete (meaning gaiety) is perhaps saying too much, but moments when the weight is not too great.
Please add me back friends, here I feel less hopeless. Enjoy my work as much as I enjoy producing it!
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 10th, 2007|12:41 am] |
My life is here now. At least for the moment. I am a neurotic daughter. One who keeps sleeping pills and Valium and antidepressants by the medicine cabinet in the room. Blasphemy was high on my list of unforgivable things. As it was, the chances of procuring even an alcoholic drink were unpredictable. Bit by bit my alcohol collection grew and as my parents drank and we children hadn't started yet, the liquor cabinet overfloweth.
Happy days were on their way.
I'm sorry to report that when I was about fifteen, I discovered the delights of alcohol. And quickly came to realize that my pocket money was not going to stretch to accommodate my newfound passion. With the result that I spent many anxious hour looking over my shoulder as I siphoned off small amounts from the various bottles in the cabinet. I would take a wide spectrum of drinks and put it all into one e33 bottle, with scant regard to what the final product tasted like. My priority was to get drunk.
No wonder i'm feeling the pain of an alcoholic. Thank god i'm better now |
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| passion |
[May. 21st, 2007|12:31 am] |
It happened that way, as we offered one another such violent kisses that it sparked flames from my tongue to hers, and hers to mine. It was the kind of foreplay that needed no explanation, justification, or mention of a past or future. The kind that got others involved, peeping and pointing through windows. It was the kind of combustion that forced me to give and forgive. It was the same energy that convinced me I could take her life without skipping a beat, It was the destructive force that caused us to be physical with one another; the kind of physical that pulled in a crowd, pulled them from their tv sets and empty conversations to gawk at our drama. And that kind of attraction rises, falls and rises again like the insidious high of crack addicts. And I would ride the wave till it tossed me against the rocky cliffs, bruising me for life, for good.
and that's how much passion I have. |
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| My eyes feels dry, I feel alone tonight |
[Apr. 12th, 2007|10:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Gnarles barkley - Necromancing | ] |
I woke up this morning to a halcyon weather and also a feeling of chasing for the heaven. Dust in the wind obstructed my vision, the same old song was streaming on my ipod and all heard was a drop of water dipping into the endless ocean. My wrist hurls from the weight of wooden equipments. I witnessed the morning view of April and can vaguely recall the illness that plagues me. I cannot reciprocate the concernment that you have provided me with because there is no other pain I can feel beyond mine. I let my soul into waste under the heavy pour, to let it tether and die eventually. I feel as if I am struggling to be someone else, someone else that likes everyone else. I wish I only took a more distinct path and not those friends of yours because inferiority strangles which produces the existed sensation as if I was like them, when I wasn't, am not. Like a holocaust I am separated by the mere tinge of yellow metal chain. The chain is broken now and I feel a strange and overwhelming vertigo, like a loss. Am I on the break of the chain towards loss or over there, on the other side dealing with loss? My love won't protect, it fades away to a conclusion so inevitable.You can't hear like how I do. I will leave like the song, only unnoticed. Hide, only because we are all in this lag race together. |
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